The No No No No No No List

The No No No No No No No No No! List of Myst "do's" and "do nots"

1. Red or Blue pages are not suitable substitutes for toilet paper.
2. Neither are Journals.
3. It is not nice to replace the red pages in the red prison book, and then rip them out while laughing maniacally.
4. Matches that are found in a safe are only to be used for starting the boiler.
5. Graffiti will not be tolerated.
6. Linking books are not Frisbees.
7. Linking books are not to be read.
8. Linking books will not try to stab you.
9. In the event that a prison book talks to you, please ignore its advice.
10. I shall not eat the berries found in Edanna.
11. Nor will I make juice, powder, pie, or any other consumable product from said berries.
12. I will not offer said berries to any other stranger.
13. If I have given said berries to said other stranger I will not find their "state of mind" funny.
14. Saveedro does not worship Squees.
15. Squees are best left in their natural habitat, and should not be taken home.
16. Saveedro is not Miguel Cervantes
17. Nor is he Billy Babbit, Chucky, or Pastor Robins.
18. Gehn should not be trusted.
19. In the event that Gehn is to be trusted, don't trust him.
20. I am not allowed to endorse Sirrus' drinking/drug habits.
21. Nor am I to smuggle him erotic literature.
23. Trapping people in the Riven Gold domes is not funny.
24. Stealing the waffle marbles is counter productive.
25. The waffle puzzle, in fact, does not make waffles.
26. The star fissure is not a suitable place to go bungee jumping.
27. I should not assume that pages left on the ground are litter. Somebody may have purposefully left it there and will come back for it later.
28. Making monkey impressions in front of Achenar is not amusing.
29. No matter how hard I search, Sirrus does not have a secret closet where he keeps his clean clothes.
30. Riven Rail Cars are not roller coasters.
31. Nor should they be treated as much.
32. I will not share my iPod with Sirrus, or Saveedro.
33. I am not the liberator of the six-legged-brethren, and I will not use this title when I release Yeesha's bugs from their harsh imprisonment.
34. I am not allowed to sell tickets to ride in the ball on Amateria.
35. Nor should I leave the tracks unfinished before I sell the tickets.
36. I am not a Pokemon Master, and I shall not try to catch any of the creatures in pokeballs or prison books.
37. The age of Dream is not to be described as "Trippy."
38. I am not allowed to take a date to the waterfall outside of Tomana without Atrus' permission.
39. Haven is not a wildlife preserve.
40. Yeesha did not offer Achenar blue pages so that he would save her.
41. Gehn is not God. Nor Should I refer to him as one.
42. The Rivenese people are not a group of ninjas.
43. The Moiety are not bees.
44. Chalkboards are best if left blank.
45. Rime is not a magical place full of iambic pentameter and song.
46. It is always 4:20 on Myst Island.
47. It is for the best if I do not know what Sirrus was using the plants for on Spire.
48. The spider chair is not meant to play my music.
49. It is best to observe if a fireplace is in use before crawling in.
50. The dream chair/bed thing is not a way to connect to my Avatar.
51. What I see in Dream is not entirely real.
52. I will not ask for a new spirit guide.
53. I will not take singing lessons from my spirit guide.
54. I am forbidden to flirt with Saveedro'd daughters
55. It is not the best idea to talk about Yeesha's tattoo.
56. I will not jump over any fence until I have found a way to open it.
57. Water is not my mortal enemy; however swimming is prohibited in most places.
58. If there is a door behind another door, it is not a sign to give up on the spot.
59. "Mangree" does not count as a second language.
60. The Electra Eel of Edanna is not a proper substitute for a defibrillator.
61. It is also should not be used for charging any of my electronic supplies.
62. The Marble Dome of Riven is not a nuclear power plant and cannot be 'overloaded' to signal Atrus.
63. Releeshan is not a conspiracy to make you work for Atrus unquestionably.
64. Atrus never installed ambiance speakers on Myst island.
65. Atrus does remember my name, but he believes that I need to be reminded that he still considers me his friend.
66. Even after that one incident involving his missing clothes.
67. I will not invade other strangers' personal space without their signed permission.
68. I will not talk about Catherine's dramatic plastic surgery.
69. It would not be nice if I stuck Atrus in a car and told him that he couldn't leave until he figured out how it worked.
70. Personal comments about relatives of other strangers may be met with violence.
71. It would be best if I do not say "again" in front of a Moeity. "a-Atrus" or "a-Catherine" would be a better substitute.
72. The Dimensional Imager is not to be used to watch Lost, House, Dr. Who, or any other show I find interesting.
73. I am not allowed to show Yeesha how to use said Imager to watch T.V.
74. I will not used the Imager to stalk Sirrus. No matter how attractive he may be.
75. Doing basic arithmetic in D'ni numerals does not make me intelligent.
76. Atrus and Saveedro were not playing an elaborate game of "Capture the Flag" during the events of Exile.
77. People will stare at me when I walk with my hand held out in front of my face.
78. Using the Bahro for personal gain is not morally sound.
79. D'ni is the correct punctuation for the culture.
80. It is best to ignore how Esher, the only person I have met who was around before the fall of D'ni, pronounces it.
81. For my own safety, and eyebrows, I should not enter the Voltaic lava chamber when in use.
82. Saavedro is not Slartibartfast's long lost brother.
83. If there are indeed man-eating whales in the waters of Rime, I should make no attempt to swim with them...nor should I force others to make a similar attempt.
84. Sirrus does not possess the skill to metal-bend, or produce any alloys from thin air.
85. Sirrus also is not stuck in a personal time bubble that prevents his clothes from getting dirty and hi facial hair to grow.
86. The people of D'ni are, in fact, smart enough to tell the difference between a painting of an island and the real thing.
87. They also know that I cannot breath in space.
88. Ages are not always islands, despite appearances to the contrary.
89. Atrus has yet to be informed of Murphy's Law.
90. Atrus now believes Murphy's Law is a pile of Bahro ****.
91. At the end of Atrus' Journals I am not allowed for any circumstance to write, "The End."